The Examination Proclamation

It’s been a bad day, I’m sure you can say

It’s been a shite week and I hope you won’t freak

When I come over to yours to eat, sleep and pray.


Exams are the unholy grail of bullshit,

Even if I’m sure to fail, it’s not a near miss- it’s a near hit!

It’s been a crap month, I’m sure you’ll agree

Failed every paper I’ve sat, I’m sure you can see


Nah…. Nah… I think I’ll be fine

You see, I’m sat here with two bottles-

One vodka and one wine

While my brain gently throttles

And tries to grasp the intangible and the life

Why dirty Mae and Dave put us through this strife.


Who cares if my E just slipped down to a U?

I’m sure grades are important, kinda

But if that were true, I’d be able to find a

Good goddamn decent job, when I exit my degree

But it’s unemployment, as far as the eye can see!


It’s almost like… Grades are just slips of paper…?

And exams aren’t an accurate measurement of life, the universe and everything?

Nah, It must be just my problem- I’m a time waster;

And in two weeks time I got 25 exams I’ve gotta wing.




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