I do.

A sweet white veil and falling rice

Looks like one of us threw out the dice

How was I supposed to know not to gamble with my life?

Looks like I found myself a pretty wife,

Oh alas, oh alack, if I had only knew

I’m a live-action taming of the shrew.

We said our vows,

She said ‘I do’

And I did too,

So till death do us part

We’re two halves of the same beating heart.

Dear god, dear god, why hath thou forsaken me?

My shrew gives me red papers and infidelity

Oh god, oh god, she’s so beautiful though

So I guess we’ll have a go.

No.

I’m on the couch now,

I said something about her fashion sense, wow.

But we professed our love before the pews

God doesn’t like reruns of what he views

So for better or worse,

In sickness and in health

I’m stuck with this curse

Who steals all my wealth

My love, my darling, my dearest

To my heart, perhaps not the nearest

But you’re certainly close to my will

So don’t die first, it’d be a pain to redraft;

Miss you? I might.

Marriages are a pain to recraft.

Yes, for better or worse,

I do.

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