What Do You Want In Life?

“What do you want in life?”

The question was so small, so seemingly insignificant, that she felt an inclination to dismiss it. However, it kept cropping up.

What do you want in life?

When he left, it was to not be heartbroken. When the cat died, it was to not be heartbroken. When mother got sick, it was to not be heartbroken.

What do you want in life?

When school reports came in, it was to not be disappointed. When father got angry, it was to not be a disappointment. When the boy came back, it was to be whole again when he would leave.

What do you want in life?

In uni, it was to do well in life. A simple goal, to be sure. Certainly, it would not require much thought. Yet, tear-soaked pillows and diary pages would prove the simple goal deeper than ever thought before.

To not need a crutch, would be her answer, as she clung to the new Him. Soft, and warm; and wearing her away until she was so vulnerable she couldn’t breathe without him.

What do you want in life?

She no longer wished to be out of the gutter- she only wanted to be looking up at the stars. The whisky gave her the glasses she needed to see the stars- a thousand glittering diamonds so far above her she would never have reached them- should never have reached for them…

What do you want in life?

To be happy.

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