It Has to be Like This.

One day, that song will come on and remind you of before it all went wrong, back when we were young and dumb. You’ll get that special taste in your mouth that reminds you it doesn’t always go South, because you were in South America. Sometimes, you do win.

I hope you hear my voice, then. I’ll be telling you every choice in every way, I’ll be begging you to stay and please never ever go away, because you’re in that one part of your memory where you’re still free and you’re here with me.

I know you don’t feel here or there, and you’ve travelled so often you might as well be everywhere. I know that you don’t think there’s anyone left to care, so you stopped ashing your face and brushing your hair and you edge over to the bar and kiss whoever’s sitting there- your mind’s gone too far.

It can’t be like it was way back when- it has to be like this, because you’re in the monster’s den and you have to fend for yourself now. Adulthood and responsibility is about to plow you down and you’re about to cry the tears of a clown because you think you’ve found love and you think that it can fill the hole, but that’s not the hole and it won’t make you feel whole and you can’t be full when you’re unfulfilled and when your life has stilled.

It has to be like this, because time doesn’t stop for anybody- even after a kiss and a rhyme and a diss and a miss and a hit and a good-bye that I know you take issue with- after all, when is a final farewell ever anything but dry-roasted hell? Why? Well, you know that later you’ll find a tissue for your issue and a sordid affair with Mr Right, at least five times a night.

I guess I meant to tell you that the good times are over, but perhaps they come back- perhaps you haven’t lost all that you think you lack- perhaps what happened had no cost. Perhaps a soldering iron to the heart can emboss and embezzle as it likes- deep into the tissue, but there’ll be no further issue because the past is in the past and if I didn’t love you why would you be thinking about this, years later? Because, I suppose, in a way, I broke your heart. Yet, one look and you knew that would happen, right from the start.

Yes, it had to be like this.

 

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